WOW-Wednesday

A very un-wow start...

I was woken this morning by my insistent alarm clock. I was tired, I had a blocked nose (a 'blokdd doze') and it felt like my head was full of concrete. Plus, it was SOOOOooooOOo cold! I was utterly resentful of the fact that I would need to get out of bed to go to my boot-camp class. To walk to my boot-camp class. What stupid idiot, I thought, made the commitment to walking to boot-camp every day?? Well, yes, it was me. So I felt resentful, moody and sick, but I forced myself out of bed because after all I had to. Three more sessions this week, I thought, and then only a week to go! I was vaguely aware of and surprised at myself counting down the days to the end of boot-camp, because I have enjoyed and benefited from it immeasurably thus far. But everything was a victim of my bad mood, including wonderful boot-camp.

As I grumpily yanked off my pyjamas, I realised with a sinking feeling: It's Wednesday. WOW-Wednesday. Oh great, I moaned, now I have to be happy as well?!

Gently does it

I've spent some time this weekend doing some serious soul-searching. About why it is that I'm on this journey, and what it all means to me as a person. 

The guilt of existence

We seem to be bombarded with messages about all of the bad things which the actions of humankind are responsible for: (global warming through excessive carbon emissions, animal maltreatment, overpopulation, famine, etc), and I have to admit that I have a tendency to internalise things. I realised over the weekend that I have been harbouring tremendous guilt on behalf of all humankind, and tremendous resentment towards humankind, for creating all of these problems. 

So what do I do? Out of guilt I cease all forms of anything which might compound these problems. I flagellate myself for bathing instead of showering; I cringe when I switch on a light. I'm deeply apologetic to mother nature for living in a tarred, built up city which has displaced so many of her creatures. And while it's not a bad thing to be aware of our personal impact on the environment, I reached a point this weekend where I realised that this guilt will be the end of me. And in thinking through my existence guilt, I found some pearls of wisdom:

Take Me To Your Leader...

I've had this deep suspicion for a long time that the human race has pretty much lost the plot.

We evolved into a race with more power than many other species, in terms of our sophisticated language, and our sophisticated tools (see machine gun. See atom bomb). And it always seemed to me a little unfair that we should exert this super-natural power (I mean 'super' as in 'above': powers above what might be considered natural) over the other life-forms with which we share the planet.

Getting started

Welcome to WoW!!

I'm welcoming myself as much as I'm welcoming anyone else who might wander onto this page...

Ok, so what exactly am I doing here? I created this blog primarily to document a process I'm going through at the moment, a kind of all-systems-go detox which will take me to the end of August. I'm trying out all sorts of things which I suspect some people may be able to relate to, and that's why I thought starting a blog would be a good way of working through this process mentally.