I've spent some time this weekend doing some serious soul-searching. About why it is that I'm on this journey, and what it all means to me as a person.
The guilt of existence
We seem to be bombarded with messages about all of the bad things which the actions of humankind are responsible for: (global warming through excessive carbon emissions, animal maltreatment, overpopulation, famine, etc), and I have to admit that I have a tendency to internalise things. I realised over the weekend that I have been harbouring tremendous guilt on behalf of all humankind, and tremendous resentment towards humankind, for creating all of these problems.
So what do I do? Out of guilt I cease all forms of anything which might compound these problems. I flagellate myself for bathing instead of showering; I cringe when I switch on a light. I'm deeply apologetic to mother nature for living in a tarred, built up city which has displaced so many of her creatures. And while it's not a bad thing to be aware of our personal impact on the environment, I reached a point this weekend where I realised that this guilt will be the end of me. And in thinking through my existence guilt, I found some pearls of wisdom:
